Various Approaches to Discipline & Punishment – August 6, 2017

Last time we talked about building structure into our dynamics using rules and protocols. And of course, whenever you talk about setting up rules, someone talks about what happens when rules are broken. So, next time, we will be delving into how structure is maintained (or not) through the use of various methods of discipline and punishment.

What are your approaches to discipline, including self-discipline? Did you struggle with whether or not to institute punishment? What are some behavioral consequences that have worked in your dynamic? Which did not?  How does this benefit the Master, the slave, the dynamic, overall? Do you even “believe in” a punishment dynamic? Why or why not?

Let’s discuss some of these questions. And feel free to bring your own.

At MAsT (Masters and slaves Together) Metro New York, we discuss real life M/s. You do not have to be in an M/s relationship to attend, just interested in learning the real life issues that power exchange relationships deal with.  We meet at the LGBT Community Center at 208 West 13th Street, NYC, between 7th and 8th Aves. from 2:00 pm to 5:00 pm. The admission is $4 for members, $5 for reciprocal members/students with ID and $8 for all others.

As always, please feel free to bring your own snack and/or something to share with the group.  Also, please remember to check the board for room number.

Upcoming: September 10, 2017: Hierarchical households/Structures/Models

 

 

 

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July 9, 2017 – Designing and Refreshing Basic Rules & Protocols

Whether you believe in contracts, find household manuals useful or cumbersome or adhere strongly or loosely to any of the diverse M/s models out there, every M/s dynamic I’ve ever heard of has some basic rules and/or protocols and/or rituals that help to maintain it.

What are yours? How did you decide on what rules/protocols are important and work for you? Or are you not a rules & regs sort of person?

As the late Jack McGeorge pointed out, if you’re not maintaining your own rules/protocols, then they aren’t serving the dynamic. That’s not a sustainable way of doing things.

Do you have a system of checking-in and refreshing when dust and cobwebs settle over your dynamic? Or maybe you need to put a system in place?

Whatever the case may be, please join us as we tackle this basic and ongoing issue that affects every dynamic.

At MAsT (Masters and slaves Together) Metro New York, we discuss real life M/s. You do not have to be in an M/s relationship to attend, just interested in learning the real life issues that power exchange relationships deal with.  We meet at the LGBT Community Center at 208 West 13th Street, NYC, between 7th and 8th Aves. from 2:00 pm to 5:00 pm. The admission is $4 for members, $5 for reciprocal members/students with ID and $8 for all others.

As always, please feel free to bring your own snack and/or something to share with the group.  Also, please remember to check the board for room number.

 

Upcoming, August 6, 2017: Approaches to Discipline & Punishment

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General M/s Q & A – May 7, 2017

What is M/s anyway? Is this the path for me? Am I doing it right?

There are many misconceptions and unanswered questions about M/s.  Those were just a few. When I began my journey I came to M/s with my own misunderstandings. Like I couldn’t be black and even use the words “master” or “slave.” Like giving someone else authority or assuming authority within a loving relationship could not and should not happen. Like if I’m not doing my M/s like everyone else, I’m somehow doing it wrong. Like I couldn’t be spiritual and be into M/s. Since finding the M/s community I’ve learned that much of what I thought M/s was all about was simply misinformed.

Some of the things that some of you want to know about include:

  •  Techniques for both Master and slave to use, to serve the power dynamic.
  • How masters/slaves have used the lessons they’ve learned in M/s to inform other areas of their lives.
  • How to integrate play, “real” life & M/s dynamics.
  • How to keep slave in appropriate mindset while master is not present.
  • How to square moral/religion interests with the M/s lifestyle.

What have you always wanted to know about M/s, but were afraid to ask?

Join us at MAsT (Masters and slaves Together) Metro New York as we discuss real life M/s. You do not have to be in an M/s relationship to attend… just interested in learning the real life issues that power exchange relationships deal with. And as always, please feel free to bring your own snack and/or something to share with the group.

MAsT Metro New York meets at the LGBT Community Center at 208 West 13th Street, NYC, between 7th and 8th Aves. From 2:00 pm to 5:00 pm. The admission is $4 for members, $5 for reciprocal members/students with ID and $8 for all others. Please remember to check the board for room number.

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M/s When You Have Children- April 2, 2017

The slave dutifully completes household tasks including preparing supper for the Master.  Knowing the Master will be home soon, the slave strips down to just the slave collar and presents on the knees in a traditional slave waiting position.  The slave hears the key in the door and, heart aflutter, awaits entry of the Master.  The door slowly eases open.

“Oh, gross, Dad!  I told you I was coming home early from school today!”  Both slave and son beat a hasty retreat to their respective bedrooms, red-faced.

The fantasies of living in an authority based household often don’t include something that many families have… children.  Many of us in M/s or D/s relationships have children of varying ages.  How do we navigate the duties of a parent while maintaining a strong power exchange relationship?  Can we maintain protocols in such an environment?  How do we explain this relationship to the children and when is a good time to do it?  Is there ever a good time?  Is it possible to have protocols in a household and have children about?  What adjustments can we make to handle both our parental obligations and our relationship?

Join us at MAsT (Masters and slaves Together) Metro New York as we discuss this real life issue candidly and with a bit of humor.  You do not have to be in an M/s or D/s relationship to attend… just interested in learning the real life issues that power exchange relationships deal with. And as always, please feel free to bring your own snack and/or something to share with the group.

MAsT Metro New York meets at the LGBT Community Center at 208 West 13th Street, NYC, between 7th and 8th Aves. From 2:00 pm to 5:00 pm. The admission is $4 for members, $5 for reciprocal members/students with ID and $8 for all others. Please remember to check the board for room number.

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Giving and Receiving Service – March 5, 2017

 

People frequently think about power exchange relationships in terms of the play or sex, they may have images of obedience or protocols of kneeling, but they don’t always consider the service that is in the day to day nature of these dynamics. Service is a bit like a tango – it takes two people – one to give the service and one to receive the service. While types of service performed are going to look different in each relationship, there are some common roadblocks people face on both sides of the slash. Contrary to what some may believe, providing service is not always thrilling or simple even to those who enjoy it. Likewise, receiving service isn’t just about lounging on the couch watching TV while someone brings you beer and a sandwich.

Why doesn’t Sir seem to appreciate the service I do every morning when I freshly squeeze him orange juice? Does the bathroom really need to be cleaned again?

Why is he not doing the job I asked him to do or not doing it the way I asked him to? How can I allow someone to do all these things for me when I’m supposed to be self-sufficient?  How do we learn to both give and receive service better so our tango will appear smooth and beautiful?Join us this month as we look at some common issues that arise in both the giving and receiving of service. And as always, please feel free to bring your own snack and/or something to share with the group.

MAsT Metro New York meets at the LGBT Community Center at 208 West 13th Street, NYC, between 7th and 8th Aves. From 2:00 pm to 5:00 pm. The admission is $4 for members, $5 for reciprocal members/students with ID and $8 for all others. Please remember to check the board for room number.

 

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When Life Happens to Your M/s Dynamic: Feb 5, 2017

A friend of mine is fond of saying, “the one constant in life is change.” (Ascribed to Heraclitos, Greek philosopher circa 500 BCE.)

Last year, we had some people who came to our meetings asking questions about “balance” and “challenges” within M/s dynamics. People were curious and concerned about what happens when “real life” encroaches upon your M/s bliss. So, let’s explore this.

We’ve dealt with this issue in the past. Some things we’ve addressed include:

  • How to juggle full time jobs, manage time, raise children, take care of ailing parents.
  • What happens when illness strikes?
  • What about when we grow older?
  • What if protocols and structure break down or no longer serve your household?
  • What if your household expands or reduces in size?

Come and share how you have dealt with the changes and challenges of life. What has helped make your dynamic sustainable over time? Hind sight is 20/20; what lessons have you learned along the way? What protocols worked in the beginning but don’t work now? And why?

How did you check-in/renegotiate? Or do you renegotiate on a periodic basis?

And as always, please feel free to bring your own snack and/or something to share with the group.

MAsT Metro New York meets at the LGBT Community Center at 208 West 13th Street, NYC, between 7th and 8th Aves. From 2:00 pm to 5:00 pm. The admission is $4 for members, $5 for reciprocal members/students with ID and $8 for all others. Please remember to check the board for room number.

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Variations on Power Exchange – January 8, 2017

We have a statement in our meeting guidelines that we read at every meeting:

“During discussion, the group agrees to avoid divisive and petty arguments over clichéd disputes such as the ‘true’ definition of slave; ‘the’ difference between submissive and slave; or what dynamic is ‘real’ vs. what is not. ”

But I say let’s break our own “Cardinal Rule” for once and talk about just that. Let’s mix it up and have a couple of petty arguments over clichéd disputes. I’m willing to wager anyone who’s ever considered M/s as a way of life has considered the questions:

  • What is Mastery and slavery anyway?
  • What makes a slave a slave and a sub a sub?
  • What’s a “Daddy Dom?”
  • What’s meant by “Owner” and “property?”
  • Is a Mistress the same as a Female Master?
  • Does being a female dominant always mean femdom?
  • What’s a girl vs a babygirl?
  • And what’s with “boy” and “boi?”

I’m also pretty sure those of us who’ve been doing this for any length of time have felt at some point, that we knew the definitive answers to those questions.  So, let’s get our thoughts and feelings and our own varied definitions out in the open. But let’s be clear – this is not about tearing each other down, for individual beliefs.  Let us agree where we agree and disagree where we will in the spirit of understanding and building community.

Can you handle it? Can MAsT Metro NY handle such a discussion? I think we can.

And as always, please feel free to bring your own snack and/or something to share with the group.

MAsT Metro New York meets at the LGBT Community Center at 208 West 13th Street, NYC, between 7th and 8th Aves. From 2:00 pm to 5:00 pm. The admission is $4 for members, $5 for reciprocal members/students with ID and $8 for all others. Please remember to check the board for room number.

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Holiday Social & Election Day!

It’s that time of year again. The days are shorter. The nights are colder. And everyone on the subway is sneezing your way. Sounds like time for a party!!

Come join MAsT Metro New York on Sunday, December 4, 2016 for our annual HOLIDAY SOCIAL! Here’s the deal: Bring a dish, get in FREE! We will also be holding our annual elections. Deb is running once again for Director and Sir Guy is running for Assistant Director. So, come out and be social (and cast a ballot while you’re at it – per our bylaws, current members who’ve attended at least three (3) meetings within the year are eligible to vote.)

MAsT Metro New York meets at the LGBT Community Center at 208 West 13th Street, NYC, between 7th and 8th Aves. From 2:00 pm to 5:00 pm. The admission is $4 for members, $5 for reciprocal members/students with ID and $8 for all others. Please remember to check the board for room number.

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Upcoming @ MAsT Metro, Oct. 2, 2016: Crazy Little Thing Called Love

Special Presentation by Ms Rhonda and tomo
International Master and slave 2016

PLEASE NOTE TIME CHANGE: 1 – 4 PM

It is often debated whether love belongs as part of a Master slave relationship. To answer this however, we must first ask ourselves – what does love mean in this context? Infatuation, romantic love, family love, passionate love, companionate love, unconditional or conditional love, maternal/paternal love, love of a possession, love of a pet, soulmate love, spiritual love, brotherly love, tough love – what is this crazy little thing called love? There are clearly many ways to express and experience love. Perhaps the question is not “Love – yes or no”, but instead “Love – what type do you need?” Learning what type of love you personally require in an M/s relationship and then finding a match is crucial to success. In this class, we will discuss the many different types of love, examine how each may affect an M/s relationship positively or negatively, and learn to identify what each of us personally needs to thrive. This class is not limited to participants in Master/slave relationships; it is intended to be inclusive of all who are interested in hierarchical relationships.

Please join us for this special presentation by Ms Rhonda and tomo, International Master and slave 2016. Come share your personal experiences and let’s talk about LOVE in a supportive environment! And as always, please feel free to bring your own snack and/or something to share with the group.

MAsT Metro New York meets at the LGBT Community Center at 208 West 13th Street, NYC, between 7th and 8th Aves. The admission is $4 for members, $5 for reciprocal members/students with ID and $8 for all others. Please remember to check the board for room number.


Ms Rhonda and tomo Biography

Ms Rhonda is the Owner and Master of tomo and they are proud to be International Master and slave 2016 and Northwest Master and slave 2015. Members of the Leather Community for a combined total of nearly 50 years, Ms Rhonda and tomo have each presented classes and served as judges at local and national events and were producers of International Ms Leather /International Ms Bootblack Contest Weekend. They are members of MAsT: Sacramento, MAsT: San Francisco, and The Exiles. Each proud to be a member of Mama’s family, Ms Rhonda is Mama’s Femme Master and tomo is Mama’s Samurai.

Ms Rhonda is Secretary of the MAsT International Board of Directors, the 2015 Northwest Regional Representative and is Co-Director of MAsT: Sacramento. She is the founder of KinkED Productions, which provides educational events for the Northern California leather and M/s communities. tomo has been teaching Japanese Martial Arts for over 30 years and as a slave, has been deeply affected by this culture. Her leather roots are in the New York and South Texas communities where she was a founding member of the Dyke Uniform Corps.

tomo was awarded the 2013 Pantheon of Leather President’s Award.

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Special MAsT 2-Parter, 9/11/16: Sex and M/s: Yes, No & Maybe so… & The Future of MAsT Metro NY

Next Meeting: Sunday, 9/11/2016; 2-5pm

Part 1: Sex and M/s: Yes, No & Maybe so…

We don’t talk about sex much in general and interestingly enough, we don’t talk about it much in the general BDSM community, much less in M/s. But the few times I have been in on such discussions, they have often been either very brief, contentious or boiled down to simple “yes” or “no” responses. In my experience, men on either sides of the slash, for the most part, seem on the “yes” side for sex in all wonderful permutations while many topwomen say “no” to the idea of sex with their slaves. And then there are those who strictly identify as “asexual” and those of us who identify as “stone.” Also, many slaves seek “service only” arrangements sans any sexual relationship.

What’s your take on the sex/no sex/maybe sex within M/s debate? What’s been your personal experience? How do you define sex? Is sex seen as service, loving or simply recreational? Or something else?

Part 2: A Special Hour-Long Chapter Business Meeting to discuss the future of MAsT Metro NY. MAsT Metro NY was originally formed February 15, 2001. Fifteen years later, MAsT Metro finds itself struggling financially, with membership dwindling and with not enough of a core group to sustain itself. MAsT faces other challenges as group cohesion as well of the challenge of fulfilling its original purpose while still being responsive to the needs of the local community. This business meeting is to either set in place a plan for sustainability going forward or to discuss disbanding in an orderly fashion. At issue will be the disposition of MAsT’s funds, banners, documentation and website.

Please join us for these important topics. And as always, please feel free to bring your own snack and/or something to share with the group.

MAsT Metro New York meets at the LGBT Community Center at 208 West 13th Street, NYC, between 7th and 8th Aves. From 2:00 pm to 5:00 pm. The admission is $4 for members, $5 for reciprocal members/students with ID and $8 for all others. Please remember to check the board for room number.

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