January 12, 2014 Discussion: Giving and Accepting Service

The following is a topic starter for the next meeting of MAsT Metro New York on Sunday, January 12, 2014, our first meeting of the New Year. The subject matter, Giving and Accepting Service, is a poignant one.

It seems like a simple concept but is it really that simple?

One would think that there would be no problem for one on the Upper Case side of the slash in accepting service, but is that true? Can there be cultural issues, societal issues, gender issues that we have all had ingrained within us since youth that could make one skeptical or uncomfortable about accepting service? Could they also fear that the service may not be up to par? Conversely, could they also fear being too critical? After all, someone is rendering you service… is it fair to critique it or complain about it? How does one determine if their requirements for service are reasonable? How big a part should service play in a power exchange dynamic? How does one request service in a manner likely to gain compliance?

How about the ones on the lower case side of the slash? Can they face the same cultural, societal and gender issues? What is their motivation in rendering service? Is their focus on the person for whom the service is rendered or is it more for their own satisfaction? What do they get from serving another? Should service be spontaneous or requested? Do they require feedback? How does one react when the feedback is negative? What could encourage greater service? Should they be concerned about who gets credit for service they perform (Owner or themselves)? Should service be expected and who determines what that service is to be?

Let’s ponder these thoughts as we approach our meeting date and reply if unable to make this discussion.

We meet at the LGBT Center, 208 West 13th St., NYC btwn 7th & 8th
Time: 2pm – 5pm
Cost: $4 Members, $5 Reciprocal, $8 Others

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