March 2, 2014 meeting: Jealousy and Envy in M/s: How to Navigate the Waters

The following is a topic teaser, a bid to provoke some thought ahead of our March 2, 2014 meeting.

According to, “The main difference between envy and jealousy is that envy is an emotion related to coveting what someone else has, while jealousy is the emotion related to fear that something you have will be taken away by someone else.”

According to, “Envy requires two parties, like you and that neighbor, when you want her new car and you wish you were the one riding around with the top down. You feel envy when you want something someone else has”, whereas “Jealousy requires three parties, like you, your neighbor, and your husband, when not only do you wish you had that cool car, but you’re worried your husband is going to ride off into the sunset in it without you. Jealousy is exciting because it shows up in lovers’ triangles and Shakespeare’s plays.”

With these definitions in mind let us ask ourselves these questions:

Are jealousy and envy ever positive attributes?
Are they rooted in insecurity or are they simply human nature?
Is it proper for an Owner or Master to foment feelings of jealousy or envy in their charge?
Do these feelings help or hinder a power exchange dynamic? Explain.
Are these feelings inevitable and simply something to be managed or can they be eliminated?
Is the impetus on the Owner to discourage such feelings or is it something the slave must find within them to alleviate?
Can these feelings be used in a way that can strengthen and refine a relationship?
Are these feelings exacerbated in a poly setting or are they independent of any particular power exchange dynamic?
Can these attributes be manifested by Owners/Masters, etc, and if so, what does it say about them?
If it is the Master who presents in this way what can be done to mitigate those feelings by either party involved?
If you are a slave/submissive, how do you handle it when it appears someone is approaching your Owner/Master? If an Owner/Master, how do you deal with the approach of someone outside of your relationship in order to prevent feelings of jealousy?
As an Owner/Master, how do you deal with someone who seems to be coveting your property or approaching them with a desire to woo them away? How does the object of such attention deal with it?

This promises to be an interesting discussion! Join us!

We meet at the LGBT Center, 208 West 13th St., NYC btwn 7th & 8th
Time: 2pm – 5pm Cost: $4 Members, $5 Reciprocal, $8 Others

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