Conflict Resolution in M/s
OUR NEXT MEETING
• Date: Sunday, July 10, 2011
• Time: 2:00PM – 5:00 PM
• Location: The Center 208 West 13th Street New York, NY (between 7th & 8th Avenues)
-as always, these thoughts are my own and in no way represent MAsT Metro or any of its members-
“Picket lines and picket signs. Don’t punish me with brutality. Come on, talk to me so you can see what’s going on.” Marvin Gaye
Conflict resolution in M/s? Why? Shouldn’t it be simple, that the Master orders and the slave obeys? Where’s the conflict? What’s going on?
M/s is about the real world, not roleplay. And in the real world, there are misunderstandings. There are things that seem unfair. There are hurt feelings.
When this occurs, instead of becoming angry and having our anger manifest itself in negative behavior that upsets the Household, we can turn our textbooks to five classic conflict resolutions:
1)Accommodation – surrender one’s own needs and wishes for the common good.
This sounds fine and dandy. Aren’t we all supposed to be altruistic? But in an LTR, resentment is easily built up when one partner believes that they only give and receive nothing in return.
2)Avoidance – avoid or postpone conflict by ignoring it.
Things don’t usually fix themselves, in fact they often get worse.
3)Collaboration – work together to find a mutually beneficial solution. This option requires trust, respect and communication.
Even with a common goal, that of the Master’s vision, problems will occur. The more people in the Household, these problems can accelerate exponentially. Therefore, for long term success, this would appear to be a good strategy.
4)Compromise – bring the problem into the open and reach agreement.
Compromise may well come into play. But it is hardly the focal point of negotiation.
5)Competition – assert one’s viewpoint at the expense of another.
That is just doomed to failure, unless the Master has an endless supply of slaves.
i’m looking forward to some great ideas and viewpoints at the meeting. Our Chapter has the diversity that MAsT International espouses and makes us the envy of other chapters.
Coming Up August 7th,
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